Parenting

“Purposes of parenting are to protect and prepare a child to survive and thrive in the world we all live in.” -M.P.

We may not all become parents in this life, but we will likely all be given an opportunity to be an important adult figure in a child’s life, and even though we aren’t their parent doesn’t mean that we can’t influence their lives for good.

I personally believe that parenting has changed and shifted over the years. I look at the way my parents grew up and it is very different than the way we grew up. My parents played outside more and they have many memories that they can recall of spending time with cousins and friends. Although many children today may be spending time with friends and family as well, I worry that they aren’t making meaningful memories. They are playing video games or playing on an ipad.

Playing outside is huge especially for young children. There are so many life lessons and skills that can be learned as children go outside and play with one another or explore their environment. Parents should foster and encourage that exploration and play to help enrich their child’s lives and help them developmentally.

Growing up my parents gave me many opportunities to explore as well as to learn. We had a huge backyard and a swimming pool that we were always in. We had a garden that we would help with and also a bike path that went around are yard that we would ride our bikes around. We had a dry creek that we would often find bird’s nests in and watch little eggs hatch. We had a stray cat give birth to kittens that we took care of. We had a baby bunny born on our lawn and the mom ran away because it was scared of our dog, so we took care of the bunny. All of those experiences taught my siblings and I about life, death, and how to care for animals. Had we not gone and played outside none of those experiences would have happened.

Parenting isn’t always easy and can have many challenges. I strongly believe that you should decide what type of parent you want to be before you become a parent and then make adjustments instead of just trying to “wing it.”

One decision parents have to make in regards to discipline is whether they are going to use rewards and punishment or if they are going to use natural and logical consequences. For me personally I want to use consequences in hopes that my future children learn lessons instead of learn just how they need to act around me so that they don’t get in trouble.

One way parents can do this is using an “I feel statement.” What this looks like is:

                When _______________ (fill in blank with an event)

                I feel ________________ (fill in blank with emotion you are experiencing)

                Because _____________. (fill in the blank with your thoughts)

                I would like ___________. (fill in the blank with your hopes or desires)

One important thing to remember about this is to not be manipulative as you use these “I feel statements.” You don’t want to gilt trip or manipulate them into doing what you want but you do need to teach them that their choices and actions affect others. This is one of the natural consequences that they will learn. They may feel remorse about what they have done and learn the lessons you are trying to teach them.

Parenting is about being alert and taking those opportunities to listen and teach. If we are observant and have a sincere desire to teach and help our children then we will find that the opportunities come and they will know their parents love and care about them.