Fathers

Dad’s are crucial in children’s lives. In the world we live in today it is common to see dads that aren’t involved in their children’s lives because of work or other things that keep them busy. What isn’t as obvious is that their children suffer because of it. The impact is gradual, but as they get older it is very apparent that they don’t have a strong bond or presence of their father in their lives.

Why are dads important? Here are some stats that show the impact on specifically boys who grow up without a father. “Boys today are much more likely than girls to have discipline problems at school, to be misdiagnosed with ADHD, to dropout from high school and college, and to become addicted to video gaming, drugs, and pornography. Boys today are less likely than girls to graduate from college, earn a graduate degree, and own a home. Far fewer young men get married and stay married today than just a couple decades ago. [iv] Young adult men are more likely than young adult women to live with a parent than they are to live with a partner or spouse. [v] Men are also more likely than women to commit suicide, break the law, and be in prison. You can probably see how these trends are both a cause and an effect of fatherlessness.” (Tim Rarick, “Men are that they might be Fathers”)

As you can see these causes and effects are both severe and significant. Young men look to their fathers as an example. They often admire their dads and want to have certain characteristics that their fathers have. When they don’t have a father in their home, they turn to friends or outside sources to fill that void which often leads to unhealthy behavior.

I have been blessed to have a wonderful father who loves me so much. He has provided for my family and made sure we lived comfortably. I was able to be in sports clubs and have experiences that I wouldn’t have been able to have if my dad hadn’t worked as hard as he did. However, because he worked so hard, he was gone a lot. This was hard on my siblings and I at times. We often felt distant from our dad and wanted a better relationship with him.

When I got into high school my dad started investing a lot of time into my volleyball career. He would come to my games and watch me play and was always willing to drive me to practices when I was on an elite team an hour and a half away. He showed his love for me by supporting my passion. Our relationship was strengthened and became better. However, this was not the case for all of my siblings. I know it has been hard on them to put that all in the past and move on.

So what can we do? Tim Rarick offers more insight to this topic. He said, “Brethren, the time to start preparing for fatherhood was yesterday. But since that is not an option, how about today? Why not begin by seeing most everything you do in your life now as fatherhood preparation? This focus will give more purpose into the important things you are already doing such as your educational, professional, romantic, and other pursuits. A fatherhood focus will also provide both the wisdom and the strength to eliminate those things in your life that are unnecessary, distracting, or self-centered.”

Having a father and a mother that are equally yoked in a family is becoming more and more rare. We must recognize this and actively be aware as we raise children in this world and raise them to be good and strong people. A change needs to happen and it needs to start with each of us. We may feel that we can’t make that big of a difference, but I believe we each can. We are able to break cycles and make changes that will impact many generations to come. That should motivate us and cause us to be better and do better.