Stress

Stress can be a positive thing to motivate us, or it can cause damage in our lives or in the life of others. I watched a video once that said if we aren’t experiencing some form of stress every single minute of every single day, then we would be dead. So, stress isn’t always all that bad, but it is how we handle and deal with that stress that is important.

Stress that occurs in family can either bring the family together or it can tear them apart. In my own family I have seen this happen both ways.

When I was really young my dad’s mom passed away. I have pictures with her and my parents can tell me stories of her playing with me, but I have no memory of her. I know that really hurts my dad that I’m not able to remember her.

My dad’s best friend was his mom. My dad adored her and it tore him up when she was no longer with us. He was young and I don’t know if anyone is ever really prepared to lose a parent. My dad started to distance himself from everyone.

He worked a lot more; he wasn’t around as much. I don’t have a lot of memories when I was really young with him in them. My mom and siblings were always there, but very few of them my dad was in. I know that was his way of coping with it all. He would work and I am sure to some degree seeing us reminded him of his mom, especially my older sister Kathryn.

I have often thought of what my dad went through. I am sure it was the hardest thing he has ever gone through.

My family was affected by his way of coping though. For every decision we make there are consequences whether they be good or bad. My family wasn’t as strong, we weren’t whole. Our relationship with our dad weakened and was not what it was.

Luckily today our relationships with our dad have been able to be stronger and he is more involved in our lives than he once way, but it was hard on my siblings and I as well as my mom to have him distance himself from us. It was a time that we needed our dad.

As I have reflected on this experience, I can’t even imagine what my dad went through. I have wondered if I lost one of my parents what I would do. I don’t know if I would shut people out or if I would lean on them more than ever before. I hope the answer would be to lean on those I love more and to let them help me, but it is hard to know what we would do in situations until we face them head on.

Although this experience was really hard, my family has had other experiences when we did lean on one another for support and to have someone there.

A family is the most basic unit of society and I believe is the most important unit of society. Stress comes into each one of our lives, it is inevitable. How we respond to stress is what matters and is what is important.

We may not see or recognize this, but how we deal with stress and what life throws at us effects more than just us and our lives. Our family is affected by our decisions probably more than anyone else.

It would be very beneficial for each of us to think about the decisions we make and how they will impact those around us. It is very easy to think only about ourselves, but I think at the very least we need to be thinking about our families.